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As a helper, you are passionate about improving the lives of others. When others let you into their worlds and accept your help, you feel honored that they chose you to be a part of their life and privileged to be able to help them. Your vibrant friendliness is a special gift that allows you to promote good relationships, establishing collaboration and a spirit of fellowship.
A selfless nurturer, you constantly put the needs of others before your own; no favor is too much for a friend to ask of you. You are humble, considerate, and deeply loyal. You are the type of person that your team members can go to when they are in over their heads, and you genuinely want to help them. You have a strong ability to uplift those around you, reminding them of their worth and encouraging them to let their talents shine. You facilitate insight within the team by engaging all parties involved.
As a team player, you have a gift of anticipating the needs of others. You can often guide the team in discovering new ways to engage customers by anticipating the needs of everyone during problem solving conversations. You contribute to win-win-win solutions that can give your team a competitive advantage.
You are sociable and genuinely enjoy making connections with others. You make the world a nicer place for those around you, and they appreciate you for it.
As a helper, you are very people-oriented and know how important it is to look at the world through an empathetic lens. When you see someone in need of encouragement or assistance, you do not hesitate to lend a helping hand. Even when you have a full plate, you make space to meet the needs of others before attending to your own.
You fear not being loved, lack of security, and not being good enough. Fear is a healthy emotion that alerts us when it is time to get prepared. Fear alerts us to the fact that something needs assessing. When you live in the space of fear it can become paralyzing and confusing. The feelings of anxiety and overwhelm can present themselves as guarded and tense. The opportunity is to embrace the fear as your friend. Shift the shallow breath to a deep breath and ask yourself, “Is this fear justified?” If so, “What do you need to prepare for?” It is also an opportunity to shift your story. Are you telling the story of helping vs enabling, doing your best vs overcommitting, or being true to yourself vs being who others need?
So, before you read the shadow side, I invite you to see this as an opportunity for growth. Feedback is often not your friend as your inner critic can unfairly twist it into something that is wrong or bad within you. Your intentions are pure, yet they can create discord in your collaboration.
You genuinely care about those around you and you are quick to take on more responsibility to make someone else’s load lighter. While this is admirable and undoubtedly appreciated by your team members, it is important to recognize when you are at your limit. By overextending yourself, you may experience burnout and the quality of your work may suffer. Your intention is to help, but you cannot jumpstart someone else’s engine if your own battery is dead.
As a helper, you pride yourself on your ability to fill the needs of others. Helping people gives you energy, and you enjoy being the person that others come to when they are in need. Sometimes, when the helper is not serving you to be your best, you may be expecting others to react to your help in a certain way, showing a certain level of thanks or otherwise returning your efforts. If they do not respond in the way you expect, you may feel resentment toward them. It is important to remember that others may not realize how much you are sacrificing to help them.
You seek harmony in all aspects of life, so conflict can be exceptionally uncomfortable for you. You may feel the need to diminish your own opinions or values so that they do not compete with those of your team members, but this is not fair to you. You are worthy of the space that you inhabit, and you have a right to speak up if you do not like how something is being done. An echo chamber, though it is free of conflict, is not a good collaborative environment because it does not inspire the deeper conversations that lead to innovation. Your voice and your opinions are an asset to your team.
Life is not always easy for the helper. Consistently putting others before yourself can leave you feeling exhausted, unseen, and even a bit used. Your empathy is a great asset but also a great burden, as the feelings and needs of others lay heavy on your soul. Remember to take time for yourself to recharge your battery in between your efforts to make the world a better place for everyone else so that your light can continue to shine.
Helpers make good nurses, social workers, caretakers, and teachers.
