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As a coach, you bring out the best in those around you and encourage them to unlock the wisdom they already have within themselves. You are curious, empathetic, and a very encouraging presence. You allow others to explore new possibilities within themselves and unlock hidden potential, and you do so without imposing your own ideas on what they should be or want for themselves.
You lead by listening, offering a safe space for those around you to think for themselves and explore the possibilities. You are highly skilled in guiding conversations without dominating them, often asking questions that challenge those around you to think more deeply and reach a meaningful conclusion for themselves. You listen deeply, hearing what isn’t being said and guiding it to the surface for discussion without having to take over the conversation.
With your coaching, your team enjoys opportunities to explore new and exciting ideas and often reaches innovative solutions to greatly improve performance and morale. You inspire creativity, increase awareness, and illuminate the path toward progress and action.
You believe that everyone holds the key to unlock their own potential and wisdom, and it is your job to help them realize this. Your focus is on the people you work with rather than the tasks, because you know that everything will be done to a much higher standard when every member of the team is bringing their best foot forward. You set your sights on the future rather than immediate tasks, knowing that seeds sown today will result in a bountiful harvest later.
You fear others feeling pressured by you, the suffering of those you care about, and making bad judgments. Fear is a healthy emotion that alerts us when it is time to get prepared. Fear alerts us to the fact that something needs assessing. When you live in the space of fear it can become paralyzing and confusing. The feelings of anxiety and overwhelm can present themselves as guarded and tense. The opportunity is to embrace the fear as your friend. Shift the shallow breath to a deep breath and ask yourself, “Is this fear justified?” If so, “What do you need to prepare for?” It is also an opportunity to shift your story. Are you telling the story of empowering vs enabling, hoping for the best vs expecting successful outcomes, or wanting the best for them vs wanting what is best for you?
So, before you read the shadow side, I invite you to see this as an opportunity for growth. Feedback is often not your friend as your inner critic can twist it into something that is wrong or flawed. Your intentions are pure, yet they can create discord in your collaboration.
You have a strong ability to solve complex problems, and this is very beneficial to those around you. This can create problems, however, if you are coaching and the ability to see the right answer for yourself prompts you to divulge this information rather than guiding others to find it for themselves. It is important to ask before shifting into a teaching role rather than coaching. You have a lot of wisdom and it can be greatly beneficial to those around you, but it can damage their confidence in their own wisdom if they feel that you always have to step in to tell them the right answer, and that is not in line with your goal as a coach.
As someone who focuses a great deal of attention on people, you get to know those around you very well. If the coach is not serving you to its highest potential, this can lead you to believe you know what people want and what would be best for them, and it could be difficult to keep from guiding them toward your own conclusions. It is important to remember to keep asking questions even when you feel that you already know the answer, because people can often surprise you. It is best to always be sure that you are guiding the people you coach to reach for their own wisdom and find their own path.
You invest deeply in the people that you care about, and you want to see them succeed. This is a wonderful gift to give another person, but when the coach is not serving you, their roadblocks or struggles may take an emotional toll on you. It is important to remember that no life is without difficulty, and that failures are often excellent teachers. Your guiding presence is a gift in good times and in difficult ones, and if you refrain from the desire to give answers, you can encourage those around you to unlock the skills within themselves to get through hardships on their own.
Life is not always easy for the coach. You invest a lot of emotional stock in bettering the lives of those around you, so their struggles can weigh heavily on your empathetic soul.
Coaches make good trainers, therapists, HR directors, and consultants.
Barbara Walters
Martin Luther King jr
Cersei Lannister in Game of Thrones
Tony Soprano in The Sopranos
Am I guiding them where they want to go?
Am I taking their struggles too personally?
Should I offer a different way for them to think about this?
Am I moving out of coaching and into mentoring?